Turmoil and bad news

So today I went to my OB/GYN and got some bad news about a test. We are waiting for accurate results from the lab, but my doctor is sure that I will need treatments to take care of the issue and the severity of the procedure necessary will be determined by those results. I would love to say that I know it will all be ok and it's probably nothing and that I'm handling the news well, but I can't and I don't think I am. I am scared and I am nervous and though I have a ton of support from everyone around me I feel alone. All I could think today is I want my husband here to give me a hug and hold me, but I know that's not possible for a while so I have to be stronger. The test today has made me feel sick to my stomach (more the news than the procedure itself) and my body hurt and I'm trying to hold it together emotionally, but I'm finding it difficult when I have too much time to think. You can never choose the timing of bad news or avoid it, you just have to deal with it and I am very grateful for the help that I do have so that makes it easier for me to take to a point. I just want to crawl into bed and cry because I have been avoiding doing that in front of the kids. They are not old enough to understand any of this and I don't need them to worry about mommy at all. I will get through this, hopefully as unscathed as possible, but I am anticipating meltdowns and fear in my near future. I just needed to get it off my chest. Love all.