After months and months of planning, preparations, and an seemingly unending emotional rollercoaster the day has come and gone. Tomorrow morning the troops of the 2220th TC will leave for further in country training and will leave from there.
I started this journey with a will to thrive and be strong and all I feel now is crushed and lonely. I keep telling myself it is too early to feel this deveated and anxious, but those I say that to tell me it's normal and not to fight it too much. I know I must be as strong as I can for my kids as well as myself, but I know I am going to find it hard to sleep to night anticipating the phone call from him in the morning saying that they are taking off and he will call when he lands.
I am nervous for us all and how this will impact us. My kids are my life and their adjustment is my biggest fear. I don't want my son to feel angry or too sad and I want my daughter to know her dad. We have put in place as many plans and things to help with this as we could think of, but even the best laid plans have potholes or fail.
I still have a resolve to survive this and I know the support of those who love me and my family will hold us up in the tough times, but I am sad now and I don't want to fight that anymore.
Finally alone here in the safety and quiet of my house I cry as I didn't allow myself to before. I am going to take it one day at a time and hope tomorrow is better though I am sure it will be hard.
No comments:
Post a Comment