Been awhile

Ok I know it has been awhile since I wrote anything and trust me there has been plenty to write. It has been such a crazy time and it is beginning to become increasingly difficult to sort out my thoughts and feelings enough to lay them out.

I will start by saying that we are into this deployment full on now and I have to say I think I am handling it a little better than I anticipated. I am able to sleep at night (for the most part) and I don't cry during the day. I have much more to focus on and that is helping. I am sure that there will be times that the loneliness overwhelms me (like tonight to be honest) and I will do my best to work through it. I feel pretty strong right now and I just hope that I can hold onto that feeling for awhile.

The kids are the things in my life that keep me on my toes the most and for the most part I am grateful for that. Christian is in full potty training mode which takes a lot out of us all, but we are taking it as it comes so to speak. He is doing pretty well all things considered and I am proud of him. I really do see the end of the tunnel coming up quick. My little man is growing up. Speaking of growing up, my daughter is now (and still) fighting with her teeth that have yet to make an appearence at this party. The poor thing has her good days and bad days and let me tell you when she has a bad day we all have a bad day. I love her to death and I wish that I could just make the pain stop for her. I hope this stage passes soon so we can enjoy the next step. My kids are so special and make everyday a joy and a challange and I wouldn't have it any other way.

I've decided that I HATE dieting and I think it sucks. I've been actively dieting and exercising since Easter and I am starting to get tired of constantly having to concentrate on what I eat and when I eat and what I do. For me weight loss is such a struggle that it is becoming depressing. I see a drop in the scale and I do my little happy dance and feel proud of myself, but at the same time I'm thinking "I am having to kick myself in the butt day in and day out for this?" At times it almost doesn't seem worth it. I do have to say that I am finally down to my prepregnancy weight and that is awesome, but if I slip even a little that can all change. This weekend for example, I slacked off some and ate a little too much and I gained .2 pounds. Now that may not seem like a lot, but understanding what I have to do to get even that little bit of weight back off is truly upsetting. I do have determination and a desire to make it work, but my will is faltering a little. Someone just needs to kick me in the butt and just tell me to quit whining and get over it, it's for your own good. Ugh...did I mention I HATE dieting?
Ok my little rant is over. Off to bed with me.